Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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