Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
