My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
