Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
