A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
