Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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