nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
