Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Randomize
