Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
