It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
