Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
