All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
