We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
