porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
