none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
it's like heaven, but drunker
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
