so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Just high enough for therapy.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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