is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Enjoy the penises
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I wear drunk well.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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