Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
