I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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