who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize