...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
