Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize