Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Randomize
