Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
