Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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