My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Sext me about skeletons
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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