I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
