I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
