Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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