my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
