it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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