Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
