okay pat passed out under dana's car
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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