u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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