Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
