I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
