Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
