No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
