I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
