Where is the hickey?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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