i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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