Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
