Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
