If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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