p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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