You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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