yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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