...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
