It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
