I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
