did you get engaged???
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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