I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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