Moan for me like Helen Keller
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
