Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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