The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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