These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
