Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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