Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
