Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize