There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
