Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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