FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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