Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
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