Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
