People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I can text with my tongue
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
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